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Monday, November 29, 2010

Love and Respect: Part Four


The Rewarded Cycle

The common fear to keep people from practicing the L&R connection is that it won’t work.

We fear that no matter how loving and respectful we are, that the other person will continue to be unloving or disrespectful.

1 Peter 3:6 “Do what is right, without being frightened by any fear.”

Don’t Give UP!!!! Trust God for it to work. Look for even the slightest improvements along the way. Just because it doesn’t seem to be working, doesn’t mean the seed is not growing. Have patient endurance. It may take time.

Read example pg 268-269

When It Simply Doesn’t Work, What Then?

What is your worst fear in marriage? As a husband isn’t it that you would show unconditional love and she would respond with contempt? As a wife, is not your worst fear that you would show respect and your husband is more unloving than ever?

When you love or respect unconditionally, you are following God and His will for you. Ultimately, your spouse and your marriage have nothing to do with it. You are simply demonstrating your obedience and trust in the face of an unloving husband or a disrespectful wife.

There is a Reward.

Eph 6:7-8 “Serve whole heartedly as if you were serving the Lord not men. Because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free.”

Paul is saying, that whatever we do as to the Lord, we will receive back from the Lord. In marriage, everything you do COUNTS, even if your spouse ignores you.

This is what the Rewarded Cycle is all about.

See diagram in handout on back.

The Eternal ‘Ahhhh’. Read excerpt page 272. Possibly read straight through 274.

Jesus is preparing us to hear “Well done!” Matthew 25:21

The ‘ahh’ experience is that diamond ring, check in the mail moment.

The greatest ‘Ahhh’ experience of your life is ahead.

Imagine getting to heaven and God saying…..

Page 273-274.

1 Corinthians 3:19 “What is wisdom to God is foolishness to the world.”

The world would say this is foolish, but we’re not of the world are we?

It’s About You and Jesus.

Sometimes I, Amy struggle with this concept of trusting and believing Jesus will have my back if I stop fighting for my right to love and give in to respect Kev. But, am I really believing in Jesus as my Lord and Savior, am I professing to be a woman of Faith? Am I truly following the word of God and letting it impact my life?

Emmerson believes that we don’t have a marriage crisis in the Christian world, but a faith crisis, for this exact reason I just shared.

The difference between successful couples/relationships and the unsuccessful ones is that the successful ones keep getting up and keep dealing with the issues.

Unsuccessful couples want it easy. They wan’t everything to be happy, with no conflict, they just want their needs to be met. This is unfortunately an immature attitude.

The mature husband admits he blew it.

The mature wife admits she disrespected again.

They work it out and move forward.

The Rewarded Cycle will deepen your love and reverence for Christ as you render love and respect to your spouse as unto him. Just like in the parable from Matthew 25:31-46, where Jesus said, ‘Whatever you do unto the least of these you do unto me.’

You can apply this basic principle by thinking: whatever I do to my spouse, I do to Christ as well.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse.

It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

You will fail at times, but it’s your love for Christ that will help you back up again. By envisioning that final judgment day when you will see Jesus face to face and are accountable to him for your life and marriage, you will be empowered to go beyond love and respect to just get your needs met, but to honor the Lord and the freedom he given you.

The Truth Will Set You Free, Indeed!

We’ve touched on the eternal component of Heaven a lot, but really – what about right now?

The Rewarded Cycle is the way to finding inner freedom and maturity of spirit.

The answer lies in the word: unconditional.

The key to the Rewarded Cycle is: unconditional love and respect.

First you must get to the place where you can say – ‘My response to my spouse is my responsibility.’

In our own marriage Kevin doesn’t cause me to be the way I am, he reveals the way I am.

Don’t get stuck playing the percentages game with your spouse or relationships. Even if the facts are that you’re only 5% in the wrong…it’s your 5% that matters to God. He holds you accountable for that 5% of wrong-doing.

Percentages is an easy way to get yourself off the hook, and once off the hook, you can’t mature spiritually.

A typical result is that you begin to feel like the victim. You begin to resent your spouse and others because they haven’t healed your hurts or comforted you,

Kill the victim before it kills you!

The only place you need to look to is the Lord who came to bind up our wounds and broken spirits.

This may be hard to accept, but nonetheless it will be truly emancipating to embrace this principle:

No matter how depressing or irritating my spouse may be, my response is my responsibility.

What’s Inside Will Come Out.

The Speck of Sand Analogy. Pg 285.

Your spouse can be an irritant, given. They may put expectations on you, pressures on you and the heat is on. In these moments you always face a choice: to react in a godly way or a sinful way.

You must remember to tell yourself, “I am a mature person with inner freedom and my choices are my responsibility.”

Another teaching that really helps this principle is Boundaries. We have referenced it on the last page.

And also RTF, really helps deal with the UGB’s that cause us to have victim mentality.

Inner freedom develops greater maturity.

As Jesus says in John 8:31-32 “if you continue in my word, then you are truly disciples of mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.”

What do Jesus’ words about freedom have to do with your marriage? Everything!

Jesus is not talking about some distant freedom for all society that you will witness from afar – He is talking about inner spiritual freedom from sin on a very personal level.

Regardless of the mess the people in your life choose to make, YOU get to be the one who chooses your response and embrace freedom. Accepting this scripture is a choice.

Kevin and I both have Godly Beliefs that are rooted in this principle of choice, responsibility and accepting Christ’s freedom.

Amy: I am not responsible for others choices, I am only responsible for my reactions and my choices. God will do the rest.

Kevin: I am not responsible for other peoples choices, I am only responsible for me and my choices.

I can experience hurt, but it’s my choice to hate.

Find a new belief system that will help you avoid being the victim and blaming others and empower you to depend on Christ and gain greater freedom in your life.

1 Peter 2:16-17 “Live as free men….show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood.” (NIV)

This scripture not only touches on the topic of inner freedom that we have spoken of, but of the freedom that comes when we love and respect each other, honoring God’s people.

There is only one-way to conquer contempt - Inner freedom.

Sometimes you have to go back to square one with God’s truth an walk it out in a new way that speaks to the season of life you are in.

How I walked out this scriptural truth, as a single woman in the Lord is far different to how I am being challenged now, as a married woman, to walk it through.

Inner Freedom rewards you with a Legacy.

Remember, someone is always watching! Be it your siblings, children, spouse, congregation, co-workers, God has appointed you to be the light and salt of the earth and where you go so does His spirit, ready to flood the darkness and empower those around you.

Don’t think as you begin to walk in His truth and follow His word, living unto Him, that you won’t cause a wake of impact on those around you, especially your children. As they see their mother or father respect and love as unto the Lord, especially in the face of adversity, they will be challenged and impacted to do the same. Wow! I know I want this desperately for my kids one day.

1 Timothy 4:12 “Set an example… in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity”

It’s never to late to say ‘sorry’ to those you have hurt or misled and to repent, and walk it out for the better with Jesus.

Pink and Blue can make God’s Purple.

You must know like you know, that God’s will is to see his children walk together in unity (this applies to every relationship we have… including those we have right here in our spiritual family) and for husband and wife to become one flesh. One flesh not two, not her mind and his physical strength – but one in body, soul and spirit. Whoa! That’s some big merging traffic right there. Especially if both lanes aren’t yielding!

Don’t forget the power of prayer. Knowing that God’s design is to have you both walk in unity, as you pray, he will give you wisdom to get to this place. Don’t be afraid to ask. You will not receive if you do not ask!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Love and Respect: Part Three



Love and Respect

Still on The Energizing Cycle!

So the women need C.O.U.P.L.E.S, now let’s take a look at what the men need…

Take a look at the last page of your handouts and you will see a new diagram.

“His love motivates – Her Respect motivates…”

C.H.A.I.R.S: How to Spell Respect to Your Husband

(Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship and Sexuality.)

Proverbs 14:1 “A wise woman builds her house. But a foolish one tears it down.”

A lot of women struggle with the idea of ‘respect’. After all the epistles were written by a man! However in light of this, Emerson encourages a number of women to do a ‘respect test’ on their husbands. The idea is to have a list of things you respect about your man and then in an opportune moment tell him you had been thinking of him today and some of the things you respect about him. Then, just walk away and see what happens. For the most part the response is immediate interest as men are geared to receive respect and honor from their women. This is a very powerful tool, to test the dramatic effect your stepping out in faith to respect your husband will empower him to serve and respond in love.

Remember: You must respect him regardless of his response.

*Be Ready With Reasons of Why You Respect Him:

A wife must see what God sees. Look at his desires and not his performance.

Keep this vital fact in mind as we explore CHAIRS: In most cases men see themselves in the drivers seat. In terms of a man’s self-image, he needs to be the chairman, he needs to drive. He needs to be first among equals and take on that responsibility.

Conquest

(Appreciate His Desire to Work and Achieve.)

By conquest I mean the natural inborn desire of the man to go out and conquer the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

As a woman if you can start to understand how important a man’s work is to him, you will take a giant step in communicating respect and honor. (Which is more valuable than your love.)

Gen 2:15 "God created man to cultivate and work the earth."

Woman was created as a helper for the man.

Men are called to be hunter’s, worker’s, doer’s. He wants to make his conquest in the field of life.

How do you want your daughter-in-laws to treat your son? Now transfer this to your husband.

Many women have no idea the importance men put on their work. If a wife even implies the unimportance of her husband’s work, she has just called him a loser. Ouch!

A man feels the call to the field while the woman’s natural instinct is a call to the family.

He wants a woman who believes in him. This thought parallels with Christ and His Church. He wants us to believe in Him.

Hierarchy

(Appreciate His Desire to Protect and Provide.)

This is not a plug to endorse chauvinism, and the Bible does NOT say so neither. Ladies God is a God of justice and mercy not wife-beating.

What is the Real Meaning of Biblical Hierarchy?

Eph 5:22-24 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Greek word for submit: hupotasso meaning to “rank under or place under”.

Lets’s continue…

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

The good-willed husband sees this passage (Eph 5:25-27) as his duty to protect his wife.

At the same time the wife is called to place herself under that protection.

This is the biblical definition of Hierarchy.

It is not male superiority for sake of putting down women, it’s the male’s responsibility to put himself over the woman and protect her.

Will this lead to abuse? It’s possible. But this is not reason to refuse a man’s God-given ability to lead. Abuse will come from an evil-willed man regardless.

The problem many women have today is that they want to be treated like the princess but they resist treating their husbands like the King. They aren’t willing to recognize that he wants to be the umbrella of protection who would be willing die for her.

Respect Card – A Keeper. Write your husband a card, signed: With deepest respect, the one who still admires you.

Authority

(Appreciate His Desire To Serve and To Lead.)

Who’s the boss in your house?

This question can be a source of humor for some, especially in a society that embraces feministic views.

However in the Christian World the question is – What does the Bible say about authority in the home?

We’ve looked at Eph 5:22-27. And there is a requirement from God for wives to submit.

Now, how about ‘mutual submission’? Yes, Eph 5:21 it states, “Submit to one another out of reverence to Christ.”

The idea behind mutual submission in this sense is that the wife does not owe submission of any unique kind to her husband.

However in v22 we see she is to submit to her husband, as unto the Lord.

If a decision is to be made, the wife is called upon to defer to her husband, trusting God to guide him to make a decision out of love for her as the responsible head of the marriage.

If L&R are both present in a decision making process, both will feel needs met and be satisfied.

Husbands are ‘responsible’ to make the Call. There are times when a wife “must obey God rather than men,” Acts 5:29. A wife’s submission to God takes precedence over submitting to her husband. God will not call us to submit to something evil or wrong. And if a husband chooses to do something like this he forfeits his right to lead his family.

1 Peter 3:1 comments that, “wives follow the lead of your husband…Then let him be won to Christ by seeing how their wives behave.”

Will a man respond to a woman who pouts and tries to manipulate the situation in her favor? Most likely not.

The key to empowerment: you get what you want by giving him what he wants.

Realize: Authority must come with Responsibility.

Go on record to let your husband know that you see him having more authority in your marriage/family because he has more responsibility – the responsibility to die for you, if necessary. Think the 51:49 ratio.

As you submit (recognizing his biblical authority), conflicts and decisions will dramatically change.

Appreciating your husbands desire to serve you and lead the family takes faith, courage and strength.

Insight

(Appreciate His Desire To Analyze and Counsel.)

Proverbs 3:7 comments, “Don’t be wise in your own eyes.”

Many women trust their intuition to a fault.

However, God calls us to trust in his wisdom and has also given us a partner to walk along side us who can offer wisdom when needed. For us to disregard a man’s ability to obtain godly wisdom is also foolish and prideful.

Eve was not created to be Adam’s brain, but rather, Adam’s companion and helpmeet. God knew that both man and woman would need his counsel to overcome problems.

Remember ladies, Eve was deceived first, by trusting her incredible intuition!

A marriage needs her intuition and his insight.

The truth is we need each other!

One of the biggest areas women criticize their husbands insight is in how she believes he needs to lead their family spiritually. This is straight up judgment, which unfortunately hurts God and takes you further out of the spiritual place you were trying to get to in the first place.

Ask yourselves; do I have an attitude of self-righteousness in any degree?

A common problem in marriage is that many women think they don’t sin. They write off sinful behavior as hormonal problems, chemical imbalances or dysfunctions due to family of origin.

Girls, we are not holier than men!

Are you trying to be your husbands Holy Spirit? I know sure have been guilty of this. It’s rare we hear our men say this statement.

Look at Jesus in his loving yet corrective rebuke to Martha, who was convinced her attitude was holier Mary’s. He kindly guided her back to the truth, rather than tell her she was wrong.

Is it possible that sometimes the men in our lives can be Jesus to us and offer a corrective word out of love for our benefit? Yes.

Don’t be afraid to admit you have sins, issues and weaknesses. And respect that he has strengths in areas where you don’t: this will energize his soul.

Relationship

(Appreciate His Desire For Shoulder-to-Shoulder Friendship.)

God said, “I will make a helper who is just right for Him.” Genesis 2:18

Women share experiences by talking, examining with their emotions.

Men share experiences by sharing an activity. E.g. Hunting or playing sport.

Believe it or not ladies, your presence energizes him. He loves having you near.

We question this because we put so much emphasis on ‘talking’ to build a relationship.

The Greek word phileo refers to brotherly or friendship love. And the Bible has plenty to say about this, as God knows this is a fundamental relationship block we all need.

Are we friendly toward our husbands? Do we want to be their friend as well as their lover? Song of Solomon 5:16, it depicts the desire for both. “This is my beloved, this is my friend.”

Males prefer shoulder-to-shoulder instead of face-to-face time.

Spend time together and Stay Together.

As you just ‘be’ with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, his fondness of you will grow inexplicably.

Sexuality

(Appreciate His Desire For Sexual Intimacy.)

Remember: you can’t get what you want by depriving your partner of what they want.

Kick the devil out of bed!

1 Corinthians 7:3 states, “The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.”

Also, 1 Corinthians 7:5. “Stop depriving one another”… “come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

Someone once said, ‘Just as the devil will do everything he can to bring a couple together sexually before marriage, he will do everything he can to tear a couple apart sexually after marriage.’

This is one of the key areas to be unified in, as God intended.

Sex for him and affection for you is a two-way street. Just as he should minister to your spirit and have access to your body, so, too you should minister to his body if you want to gain access to his spirit.

As a wife you spell respect to your husband when you appreciate his sexual desire for you.

Two keys to understanding your husband:

  1. He is visually oriented – your appearance and bodily attributes stimulates him.
  2. He needs sexual release just as you need emotional release.

Girls, remember that just as it is important for you to be able to share your personal fears and struggles unique to women, it is equally important for men to want to share and be open about their struggles that are unique to them. One of the biggest areas that men have hard time opening up to their wives about is their sexual struggles. Be it visual temptations, masturbation etc – this is definitely one arena that our men are faced with, and if we want to be their friend and lover we need to hear them, support them and pray for them, as well as minister to them sexually.

If a man feels shamed by his wife or women in his life for mentioning his sexual struggles, he will shut down and this will possibly create a gap for Satan to divide what God has intended to be one.

Jesus understood the struggles of man, for he says, ‘Everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.’ Matthew 5:28

Ladies, we need to not fear these kinds of temptations in our men’s life, but be the wind under his wings and help him soar past such issues with the grace and mercy of God.

________________________________________________________________________

So C H A I R S. Live it, Love it, like the results that I guarantee you will see!

Love and Respect: Part Two





Love and Respect

The Energizing Cycle

Because the Crazy Cycle is always ready to spin, we need get ourselves on the Energizing Cycle and stay there!

The next two weeks are designed for husbands and wives, men and women to understand the unique needs that will help stop the Crazy Cycle and keep the Energizing Cycle spinning.

Take a look at the last page of your handouts and you will see a new diagram.

“His love motivates – Her Respect motivates…”

C.O.U.P.L.E: How to Spell Love to Your Wife

(Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty and Esteem.)

Let’s take a look at the word couple in and of itself first.

Couple means two people connected together. This is the key on how women view relationships.

Women want connectivity.

She wants to connect with you, and she approaches with that intention in mind.

The Problem: She confronts to connect. But He thinks she is confronting to control.

When the good-willed woman in your life is appearing negative and offensive she is crying out for C.O.U.P.L.E. In these moments your feelings may tell you she is being critical and disrespectful, but what she really wants is to connect and to have your love.

- Align yourself with God’s word and counsel and look to your instrument panel, which says C.O.U.P.L.E and you will energize your wife to respect you.

Proverbs 24:5 “…a man of knowledge increases power.”

You don’t have to become PINK to love the woman in your life.

It takes guts to say to your wife “I am sorry. Will you forgive me?”

Closeness

(She wants you to be close.)

“Therefore man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall become one flesh.” Gen 2:24

This scripture is full of insight. Your wife will feel loved when you move toward her and let her know you want to be close.

Women want Face-to-Face time = Heart-to-Heart time.

Being Involved____________________vs__________________Being Independent

Most women rest closer to the ‘Involvement’ side, whereas men rest closer to the ‘Independence’ side. There needs to be a balance.

You wouldn’t believe how taking 5 mins out of your day when you get home can set the tone for the rest of the night and create a more peaceful and relaxed environment. Five mins of quality time is better than a whole night of tension.

!!!You cannot motivate your spouse to give you what you need by withholding what they really need.

Luke 6:31 Treat your spouse as you would like to be treated.

Openness

(She wants you to open up to her.)

She longs for his love, which is experienced in her world by connecting openly with his heart.

Women are expressive-responsive.

Men are compartmentalized.

Light Circuit Analogy. Women are like the circuit of lights where one goes out they all go out. Men are different. If one of their lights go out it is only the one bulb that goes and the rest of the lights still work.

She is an integrated personality.

A wife’s crushed spirit is not hard to see. Her face tells it all. While men are more like poker players, hiding there emotions.

Wives see their husbands as mysterious ‘Islands’. She paddles around and around looking for a place to come ashore, but there is a fog holding them back. There is no place to land.

Women like to be up-to-date on a daily basis. Don’t take her ‘questions’ as prying, but as a way to share openness with you and be connected. You matter to her!

Beware of becoming embittered.

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.” Colossians 3:19

A bitter husband has no hope for openness with his wife.

Be careful not to be harsh with her. We can easily state our opinion in firm ways, thinking that it was totally fine, but what we just did was clamp down on her air hose and now she can’t breathe.

Understanding

(Don’t try to ‘fix’ her, just listen.)

1 Peter 3:7 advises husbands, “Live with your wife in an understanding way.”

See this verse through the lens of How to have Empathy for your Wife.

Women are not the weaker gender as some may bristle over in this verse, however they are vulnerable to men in two areas:

1) When a man fails to try and understand her

2) When you dishonor her by treating her as less than equal.

How Can you Understand Her??? Just listen. Don’t fix.

Ask: “Do you need a solution or my ear?”

Men communicate for one reason… to exchange information. Why else would we communicate? When a woman “just wants to talk” for no reason at all, we become suspicious.

A wise husband is “quick to listen, slow to speak.” James 1:19

Setting aside time for your wife/woman in your life, is a MUST!

Women love to talk to release their emotions – let off steam. This helps her process.She also needs to ‘talk’ to realize their feelings. Men can compartmentalize – she must verbalize to sort through her emotions.

Peacemaking

(She wants you to say, “I’m sorry”.)

Without peace in the relationship she doesn’t feel close. She can’t be fully connected.

However God scripturally intended there to be some conflict in marriage.

The ‘sparks’ of conflict are always going to be there, but how we handle them is the question. Will you let a wildfire rage out of control and burn down your house, or will you maintain a controllable fire that heats the house and makes things warm?

As you move toward her to solve a problem, you become close (heart to heart) – this is very precious to her.

Whenever wives get ‘historical’ it’s because they are trying to clear the air of past issues, promote peace and understanding between you.

If you say “Let’s just drop it”, a woman is likely to think that you are secretly still angry with her and that the issue is still really unresolved. Without any resolution it can be difficult for her to be happy.

Wives melt when men say, “I’m sorry.” It may be hard for us to say sometimes but this is the fastest way to her heart when there is conflict. Men worry that by saying this we will lose respect. We have to trust that as we give this need of reconciliation to our wives in love that they will in turn show us the respect that we desire.

Romans 12:18 “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”

1 Peter 5:6 “Put yourselves under God’s mighty hand and he will honor you at the right time.”

Short course on peacemaking…

1) Have confidence in your loving demeanor. Proverbs 15:1 a gentle loving answer turns away wrath… (especially your wife’s)

2) Don’t blame her. Actually take part of the blame.

Loyalty

(She needs to know you are committed.)

A woman loves to hear her husband exclaim, ‘You alone are my love!” Song of Solomon 2:10

She wants reassurance of his love. And she MUST have it be available to her.

She’s a one-man woman, and he’s a ….? Sometimes she’s unsure of your faithfulness.

The ‘Dave Smith’ example… Well, Dave Smith down the street got a promotion… and he bought his wife a new car… and he lost 20 lbs… and blah, blah, blah. Wouldn’t this story make you feel disrespected and unappreciated. It’s the same when we look at the swimsuit world and wish she was a little more… whatever!

It’s very difficult for women in today’s pornography riddled world. She looks at the world through her pink glasses, much differently than you do with your blue glasses.

When she is assured of his love and loyalty, she is energized and motivated.

Are you being as loyal as you could be? Malachi 2:15-16 “Don’t break your promise to the wife you married when you were young. ‘I hate divorce’ says the Lord God.”

Esteem

(She wants you to honor and cherish her.)

1 Peter goes on to say that Husbands should also treat their wives with understanding so that their “prayers will not be hindered.”

(If your prayer life is not going well, maybe consider how you are treating your wife!)

The way to honor your wife is to treasure her. God has made women to want to be cherished, respected and esteemed.

She wants to know that she is on your mind and heart first and foremost.

Men can never show a women the amount of emotional openness and esteem that a woman really wants but symbolism is a great way to try and bridge the gap.

Use symbolism to show esteem to a woman. E.g. Roses convey you value her.

Birthday’s and anniversaries are a big deal to most women, so use this as a great way to win the heart of your wife and show her esteem!

A meaningful walk can be better than a new Mercedes!

Remember… She wants to know that you would take the time to try and figure out where she wants to go for dinner, because that’s what she would do for you. Don’t be agitated by this but instead try to offer up a few options that you really think that she might like.

Thank her for all that she does! Appreciate her for what she does but don’t overlook cherishing her for WHO she is!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

October Belated

Hey Guys!

Totally behind the times with this blog. But it truly has been super busy here this month.
Out of town guests, interning at the Life Centre Church, producing an EPK for a client, trying to finish editing our documentary amongst many other things!

Sadly this month we had to say goodbye to our dear friend Sarah, who was going back to Vernon to pursue her photography business. Sarah we will miss you!

However we are well and in great spirits as we move forward yet another month closer to school in Toronto. We are officially leaving our home in January and transitioning by staying with Ernie and Merrilyn our Pastors.

October was to say the least - full. Full of events, full of trials and full of victories.
We began the month with outstanding weather - although as I type it is 6 degrees and raining, boo! Kevin and I enjoyed several date nights in the sun and watching sunsets, a rare blessing this time if year.
Our old house-mate Jojo came back from Germany for a quick finalizing visit midway though the month and even brought me over a Starbucks mug from his hometown, Stuttgart! Extremely smart man. Starbucks city mugs are a sure fire way to get points with Amy. Just so you know I already have New Orleans, Seattle, Houston, Alaska and New York.

This month also brought in the final process of my Permanent Residency to Canada. After a Saturady night date across the border to eat Jack in The Box, Kev and I passed through customs and got my official papers stamped to say I was a landed immigrant. It was a very relieving experience, as I no longer have to be drilled with questions at the border now and treated like a criminal, something that was getting old the last few years. It definitely was exciting for Kev to know that they couldn't take his wife away and send her back to Australia! Although neither of us really would be so bothered by the endless sunshine there.

Of course October is the Thanksgiving month here in Canada and Kev and I were blessed to have two invites over the weekend. Our first dinner was actually chicken (I know) at the South African Kleynhans home...that's all it is: a cultural thing, Aussies would do the same. Mind you the bird was big. And tasty. No complaints here. Our second dinner was a nice afternoon affair and in true North American tradition the Culley household it went big - the turkey, the food, the dessert. Thanks to Merrilyn being NZ we got Pavlova and I made a sugar-free gluten-free pumpkin pie - oh it was delicious. Actually the gluten-free flour was not my favourite to cook with, but the filling was on par with your standard sugar-infested pies out there.

Our church put on a Fall Fair Oct 31st and Kevin and I celebrated with some of the crew, dressed as Shakespearean/Elizabethan style folk, we each had a booth we ran for the local kids to come and win candy and prizes.

Kevin and I have also begun a teaching at our church Sunday nights, called Love and Repsect. It's been a great experience teaching and speaking together on such a valuable topic. Week three is coming up this Sunday. For more info see the separate posts for this month.
















Well that's it folks,
Love you all and be blessed.
K &A